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Originally published at Alrightstill.net. Please leave any comments there. After watching Criminal Minds I got yet another idea for a tattoo. Yes. I am getting sick of these ideas constantly floating around in my head and I just want to get them done already.
So yes I got the idea watching Criminal Minds, but no I’m not that kind of a fan girl. This is a quote that Prentiss says at the end of last night’s episode ‘Retaliation’. It is a quote by Washington Irving: “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love”.
For me, it just fits. I’ve always had the hardest time showing my emotions and I was not supposed to cry, because I thought I’d drown in my tears, and with the help of therapists I am overcoming that. That quote by Washington Irving just says it perfectly.
And now comes the figuring out of the where the heck I want to put it. Like I said in one of my earlier posts, I have ideas and places for most my tattoos… but some have changed a little. I will not be getting the stars and hearts on my hands on advice from the tattoo artists that it just wouldn’t look good. I might get them somewhere else though.
Right now I am going to concentrate on finding out where I want to put that quote and how it is going to look. I don’t want the simple text I want something around it, perhaps a story book, or a piece of paper or something like that. So I am going to look at a few designs on the internet, come up with my own thing and take it to the artists and see what they think of it and if it would work on a certain body part (once I figured out which body part it is going to be).
First up is getting the rosary; I am saving up for it as we speak, putting aside every pocket change that I have and, if I can spare it, 10 to 20 euro’s a month. So hopefully, by the time my birthday rolls around, I’ll be able to get the tattoo. My goal is 200 euro, so I know that I’ll be good for about 2 hours of tattooing, and I’m over the one third mark and saved about 85 euro.
I’m getting more and more excited. I’ll be going back to the shop sometime next week and get talking about a drawing and securing the date (all based on if I actually GET the money together). Like I said, I am gunning for my birthday, March 25th, and it IS a week day so they should be open. I also need to make sure that I’ll have enough time to get to therapy, since that starts at 7pm. They open at 2pm until 5:30pm, which could make for a PERFECT time since I’ll be able to get back in time for that and bring some cake too! Tags: random
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Originally published at Alrightstill.net. Please leave any comments there. And here I went from posting every day for a month and a half to posting every couple of days. It is so easy to slack off / procrastinate when there is not a goal / assignment attached to it. Do any of you have the same problem? I do enjoy writing and coming up with a log post, but it is so easy to just leave it be.
I have the same problem with blog posts that are a series. I started writing a series of ‘the big important life update’ (part 1 and part 2 so far) and then I just STOPPED WRITING IT. I mean seriously, why is it so hard to continue with these damn updates. I was doing pretty darn good too.
So this will in fact be The Big Important Life Update Part 3.
Today marks the end of the third week without daily therapy. It’s been rough. I miss the people and strangely enough I miss certain therapists. I knew I was going to miss the group, but I didn’t think I’d miss the therapists as much as I do. Guess I thought wrong. I am however still in contact with the Drama therapist, D. I’ve worked with her two times now, getting some ‘kinks’ out of my life that are still in there and to discover how much of those kinks I actually *want* to lose.
Monday I had my second appointment with her, which I was glad for because my day was slowly turning to shit. I woke up with a bad feeling. I just knew that this day was not going to be a good day and it was pissing me off. Then when I was at the train station, there was this wave of people coming from the right who were getting off the train and I nearly had a panic attack.
I’m not good with crowds, I’ve never been and I probably never will be, but for the past year or so I have been able to manage the level of anxiety when I’m in a crowd and I was doing fine, but this just came out of the blue. I talked with D about this and somehow we ended up with the conclusion that I ‘borrow my self confidence from others’.
This basically means that I haven’t been able to develop my ‘id’, my ‘ego’. My true self. When my mother was still alive I ‘borrowed’ my self from her self. We were entwined so to speak. A symbiosis if you will. I think I’ll let the Psychiatric definition speak for itself.
a relationship between two people in which each person is dependent upon and receives reinforcement, whether beneficial or detrimental, from the other.
With my self confidence it is pretty much the same, save for the part where the other is dependent on me. See it as ‘if THEY fail, how am I supposed to do it better‘
Yes, I’m distorted that way. But how would you have grown up when your mother passed away at 16, one of the most important times in your life, and your father doesn’t guide you through those years after. Tags: life
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Originally published at Alrightstill.net. Please leave any comments there. Yes. I would have wished this blog title would have been different as well. News like this depresses the hell out of me and saddens me deeply. Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover an 11 year old boy from Massachusetts, a boy who had a whole life in front of him, took his own life away by hanging himself with an electrical cord on April 6th 2009.
His mother said that Carl was subjected to daily anti-gay taunts at his school, the New Leadership Charter School in Springfield, Massachusetts, and said that she had been in contact with the administration of the school for over 6 months to get them to do something about the homophobic bullying that was going on.
Amongst other things, the 11 year old was told “you’re gay, you must be gay, you act like a girl” and on the day of his suicide, the boy told his mother he was suspended for 5 days because he bumped into a girl who had verbally abused him and threatened him harm, something the school denies ever occurring.
This is yet another sad and heartbreaking piece of evidence that not only the verse ’sticks and stones may break my bones…’ is incorrect, but that the human race is still far behind on the scale of tolerance. There are so many things wrong with this piece of news that it is hard to count them on one hand…
- Schools are supposed to be a safe haven for children.
- Carl’s mother had been trying to get the school to do something about the bullying for over six months and nothing changed. The school should have been investigating the bullying since the first time the mother brought it up. Not to mention themselves keeping an eye on things that go on at their school.
- The children that were doing the bullying should have been taught better by not only the school, but more importantly their parents. And you can not convince me that they had no idea that their child wasn’t capable of these things. THERE. ARE. ALWAYS. SIGNS.
- Education people. EDUCATION! Teach people, and their children that, amongst other things, bullying is NOT okay. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, you’re straight, a person of color, or anyone else that is considered ‘less’ in today’s society, which is bullshit anyway.
Why would it matter to you if a person is gay or not? What has this person ever done to you except be different. It doesn’t hurt you. You may THINK it hurts you, but it doesn’t. Sure you can disagree with who a person is, that is your given right to do so. But that doesn’t mean you have to bully a person just because he or she is different.
/soapbox Tags: equality, homophobia
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